She came up those stairs

The first of March 2014.... We had talked online and on the phone for a week. I had taken a train 400 miles but had to wait almost three hours before she turned up and two before she even answered my calls. She had forgotten to turn it on.... In control of things even before … Continue reading She came up those stairs

Nya tag….. på Svenska

Jag prövar att börja skriva även på Svenska. När jag skall berätta min egen historia så blir det så mycket enklare att skriva på modersmålet till människor som lever i mitt eget land och egen kultur. Skälet att jag började på Engelska vara mycket att jag var rädd för att bli alltför ensam här om … Continue reading Nya tag….. på Svenska

It’s Fear that keeps me from writing.

It's now more than 6 weeks since I declared that I would begin writing short simple posts on a daily basis...... I claimed it was because of some perfection complex..... Well this might be true but what is behind that? FEAR, pure primal fear. Fear of being attacked, criticized, accused, belittled. Fear of not being … Continue reading It’s Fear that keeps me from writing.

I am stuck with my writing (and my life)

I had so many ideas about this site/blog but I am stuck not getting further then my Instagram  account. I guess the problem is that I aim way to high..... Perfection..... I have no right o bother you unless I really have something to say, some "perfect" article that "explains it all", well at least … Continue reading I am stuck with my writing (and my life)

Adult Children of Narcissists

The official name is actually Adult Children of Alcoholics / Dysfunctional Families though at least here in Stockholm it's mostly about understanding and healing from narcissistic abuse. I found out about these guys perhaps some six weeks ago, in fact through a person in this online support group Complex PTSD Recovery who turned out to … Continue reading Adult Children of Narcissists

She is not there…….

Writing about my ex I used the words Evil Ways and of course my brain made yet another musical association. Evil Ways...... Santana....? Yes its Santana and he has described Narcissistic partners even better or what do you think? https://youtu.be/EVeHHmGcoNk And i kept searching...... Anyone who can relate? https://youtu.be/FYcyf2Mu0-c Ok, Evil Ways..... with a very … Continue reading She is not there…….

It takes two to Tango

There is A LOT about narcissism on the internet though very much of it is from a Victim perspective, including stuff from well known coaches and therapists..... It's all about Them.... They are Evil and You/We are targeted simply because that we are so Good. The cruel truth about narcissistic relationships is that you are … Continue reading It takes two to Tango

Immobilize without Fear

I have met my ghosts I have been able to get rid of my own false (narcissistic) self though I am still fighting my fears of being unseen/rejected. Every step I take to make real connection, to tell some more of my history is a step that puts me at high risk of being triggered … Continue reading Immobilize without Fear