She came up those stairs

The first of March 2014…. We had talked online and on the phone for a week. I had taken a train 400 miles but had to wait almost three hours before she turned up and two before she even answered my calls. She had forgotten to turn it on…. In control of things even before we had met….

I gave her everything and got more than I’ve ever could have imagined… way more than in any other relationship I’ve ever been I but I had accepted and kept accepting the “deal”…. until I was able to read and understand the fine print…. The fine print that’s been there throughout my whole life saying I was not allowed to stand up for myself, if that became a threat to someone elses identity… It did and she had to leave..

It’s a bit strange to be able to sit here now and just accept reality as it is. She is still the love of my life but I have realized that you can’t love someone who needs to control even your idea of what’s real about yourself and your own fellings…

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