It’s Fear that keeps me from writing.

It’s now more than 6 weeks since I declared that I would begin writing short simple posts on a daily basis…… I claimed it was because of some perfection complex….. Well this might be true but what is behind that? FEAR, pure primal fear. Fear of being attacked, criticized, accused, belittled. Fear of not being able to follow through. Fear of loosing yet another attempt to expose the fear and evil dynamic that is controlling so much of what used to be my families. I am not ashamed of my fear, my pain. I am fully aware of it and since I left the illusion of “normality” (the idea that it was all, or at least mostly….abut me….) I know that the only way I might be able to make any change is to stick to my “plan”. It is just that in the Real World I am an isolated social mammalian and that is not a strong position….. Whatever, I have nothing to loose and nothing to hide. It’s my truth, my understanding. Take it or leave it.

My first step will be to begin writing posts in my mother language as well. That will of course make it easier and besides there is not much to be found in Swedish on the subject. I’ll begin right away, it’s about time…

 

 

3 thoughts on “It’s Fear that keeps me from writing.

  1. I’m still in awe over our similarities – Dang CPTSD! But this line, “It’s my truth, my understanding. Take it or leave it.” IS PERFECT! I know it’s easier said than done but you’re on the right track. Just show up and do “you.” Let it flow, let yourself heal from it, and don’t worry about anyone else. Btw, I too made a BIG announcement a few months ago that I would write every day. LOL!! We’re works in progress.

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    1. 😊 CPTSD is self diagnosed but I’ve known that its true for at least 30 years, just didn’t come across it until February this year 😊 CPTSD is not an official diagnosis in Sweden (it’s not in the DSMV….) My only official diagnosis is ADHD 😊 and the journey I’m on now is without professional “support” 📣❤️👊🤗

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    2. Who cares about what we announce? And if someone actually do… Does it matter? 😁😉 Seriously, I think this is VERY important for us to keep in mind…..

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