There is A LOT about narcissism on the internet though very much of it is from a Victim perspective, including stuff from well known coaches and therapists….. It’s all about Them…. They are Evil and You/We are targeted simply because that we are so Good.
The cruel truth about narcissistic relationships is that you are in a unconscious mutual agreement where you have accepted to take the role as a victim. The problem is that coming to this understanding is something you can only do outside your relationship, simply because you have ”signed a contract” that he/she is NEVER wrong. You can read more about how to reach this understanding here (link coming soon).
In my opinion, all those guys with YouTube pages where they aggressively rant and focus on ”The Narcissist” 20 minutes every week are still stuck in their own Narcissistic bubble, desperately fighting to rebuild their own ”reputation”… Black vs. White, Good vs. Evil, Winner vs. Looser is a VERY narcissistic perspective on human relationships…..
To make it simple, unless you soon found out and left, you are both severely hurt on the same deep level and you recognized something that made you feel comfortable, a ”safe” way to guarantee that you would not be abandoned. Not a way to thrive and become happy but a way to survive. On a deep level none of you expect love and none of you dare to ask for what you need. It’s just that you have found opposite strategies to guarantee your safety, yours is by unlimited giving and the narcissist is by withholding and controlling.
This guy explains my the ”covert contract” between the narcissist and the empath in a very good way 🙂 Just be aware, this is not another ”Feelgood video” for adult ”victims.”… 😉